The Learning Curve

I recently attended a fundraiser for the Alliance School, a publicly funded charter school where I live for kids who have been bullied in their own school. At the fundraiser, I introduced myself to the principal and offered to volunteer for after school programs or mentoring. They actually asked me to consider teaching health class. I mentioned this to some co-workers and was surprised to hear some general revile at having to pay taxes to support such a school. I actually heard some people say that bullying is part of growing up and pulling kids out of school because of bullying is not doing them any favors in the long term - it toughens them up for the real world.

GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network) recently published a survey of students that showed that 9 out of 10 - that's 90% - of LGBT students are harassed on a regular basis at school. In fact all students stated that being gay or being perceived as gay is the second most common reason for harassment. The top reason was for personal appearance. Got that folks? You don't even need to be gay in order to be bullied, just thought to be gay. Studies have linked school bullying with absenteeism, depression and suicidality, and fall in academic performance. These are not lessons that should be learned in class and without a good education, these students can never succeed in the real world. In the GenQ page of the most recent issue of the Advocate magazine, 21 year old Brian Samuels briefly discusses his own experiences with bullying and ends his article by saying "we should be thankful for the hurt and pain that we've endured." Should we? OK, maybe if we've already got it. But should we be thankful for having the opportunity to endure such hurt? I'm less convinced.

High school was no picnic for me. Being the shortest, the skinniest, the least athletic, I was picked on alot. At my private Catholic school I was verbally harassed and physically singled out for abuse. I was called every gay name in the book and told by more than one teacher that I needed to toughen up. I never told my parents what went on. Naturally I gravitated toward my talents - drama, forensics (where I met some pretty awesome people), college courses in math and english, and a small group of friends that accepted me for who I was. Did I add to my character because of the bad experiences? You bet I did. I added alot of mistrust 101, callousness 302, and a master's class in bitter independence. Those are part of who I am now, mixed in with all of the good things I've learned along the way. Now every year, when my high school sends me alumni letters asking for money, I write a check to the Alliance school. Endure that!