Numb3rs

For the last few months I have been experiencing the uncanny. At least once a day but often multiple times a day I will look at a clock or some other number device and see a pattern. It is not uncommon for me to happen to look at a clock at 11:11 or 12:34. My watch happens to be set on military time so 15:51 can be staring back at me when I look down. It has become so frequent that I'm starting to think it isn't random.

My sci fi theory on this is that I am actually in a coma but I'm not brain dead. My mind has come up with this life that I am currently leading. I mean, I've changed jobs, changed cities, changed gyms, phones, and hobbies so maybe none of it is actually real. Anyway, my family, friends, and doctors have been trying to get me out of my coma to no avail. Each time they try something my mind registers the message as an odd coincidence in my imagined life - the numbers. Continuing on in my theory, I have not been registering any improvement in my real life because I keep shrugging off noticing the numbers. But now, if my theory is correct, blogging about noticing the numbers may just be my comatose brain's way of letting my doctors know that I am getting their messages and to keep trying.

I want them to keep trying because I would like to think that if my brain wanted to stay comatose it would have created an alternate universe that did not involve impending snow and cold weather. Although it is sunny today. I would be on a cruise, I would be rich, I would be hot. I am certain that my comatose me could come up with something better than this. (Interesting, as I type this my computer screen keeps shutting off and on. Is the comatose me trying to impede me sending this blog?)

It is just possible that I have completely gone off the deep end.

The Math

With just 11 days until mid term elections, things are getting a bit touchy. Of course, Republicans are using the New Jersey court "same sex marriage" decision to reignite time tested scapegoating techniques to try to win voters. Again, President Bush used the phrase "activist courts" in a stump speech to mobilize the radical right to remember that we can't allow any redefinition of marriage. Yet I find it incredibly perplexing that the administration doesn't even understand the ruling or what the President has previously said he supported. The ruling gives equal rights to same sex couples but specifically doesn't state that they can get married - the actual use of the word marriage being held sacrosanct by the "activist court" for the good people of New Jersey. In effect they have paved the way, like Vermont of old, to create a state of civil unions that hold similar but not all (separate but equal) benefits for same sex couples in a committed relationship. In the last days of President Bush's 2004 campaign, he specifically said that he supported the formation of civil unions as long as it wasn't marriage; a last minute attempt to gain the support of social conservatives who have become disallusioned with the Democratic Party. For the record, I'm one of them but still voting Democrat. In essence then, this "activist court" ruling is exactly the kind of the thing that Bush said he would support. And I'm sure he honestly could care less about two fags tying the knot. After all, his wife and Condoleezza Rice recently used the word mother-in-law to refer to a gay man's partner's mother during his swearing in ceremony at the freakin' White House.

But it's hard for me to not feel defeatist. I mean, I want to sweat bullets on this fortnight before Nov 7th wondering if the Democrats are going to take the house, postulating about which states will be the swingers (Tennessee, Virginia, New Jersey), fretting about my own state's same sex marriage amendment bill. But I worry that, just like the 2004 presidential election, once again the Republicans have the whole thing planned out. They know who they can buy, who they can win, which polls they can rig, which polling places they need to fix down to the county. I know this because when confronted by early polling numbers showing that Democrats had the strength to take the Senate, Karl Rove responded:

"You have your math, I have THE math."

The Ruins

The book was billed as the "page turner of the summer" so far be it from me to decline. I bought The Ruins because it was compared to some of Stephen King's best fiction and I used to like to read his books. All suspense and tasteful gore.

The story follows a group of six young post grads vacationing in Mexico who unfortunately get lured into a side trip to a Mayan village. The powers of happenstance trap them there and, well, killer plants are heavily involved. I hesitate to say that last bit because it makes the story sound cheesy and I suppose it could have been but author Scott Smith never strays into "Little Shop of Horrors" territory.

It's a long book and the best part of it is that by page 83 everything is out on the table and you realize that the characters are all fucked! I mean, that's awesome knowing that you have like 300 more pages to wallow in their misery and fucked-ness. You just don't want to put the book down because you want to see what disgusting minefield they will walk in next. And there are no chapters, just one long tome. I often found myself turning pages until 3am after a long shift at the hospital. It's classic man vs. nature and the unknown and you can't help placing yourself in their situation wondering whether you would be the leader, the doer, the whiner, the one to just give up, or whether you would want to be the first or the last to die. My only disappointment is that for whatever reason, I was hoping for a twist at the end that never came. It's mindless, fast reading for someone who likes a bit of horror fiction this Halloween season.

Oh to Be 16 and Hot.

We all know one. The parent of one of our high school friends who always seemed so cool. The one who would let us drive the car before we had our licence, the one who would let us have a beer while we were at their cottage, the one who actually enjoyed the concert they chaperoned - maybe better than we did. We wished our parents could be cool like that, take an interest in our lives like that, be more of a friend than a parent. It wouldn't be until much later that we would realize how much parents should be parents and kids should be kids.

In all of the recent news articles regarding Representative Mark Foley, the one that caught my attention the most was the NYT article that interviewed former pages, male and female, who went on and on about how awesome Foley was. He was the only one who knew their names by heart, the only one who took time to discuss legislation, the only one who seemed to care that they were even there. They describe the tear filled speech he gave on the House floor commending them for a job well done and encouraging his colleagues to take interest in the future lawmakers of America. And for some, he would take a special interest.

So, are these the machinations of a sexual predator? Someone using his position, his power, his vantage point to seduce an unwitting but somewhat willing young child into a sexual relationship or online jerkfest? Or was Foley just one of those "cool parents" who should know better, so inappropriately needing to stay connected to a younger generation that it becomes creepy.

The rest has played out like a well rehearsed scandal on the Hill. Foley is now in "rehab", his predilection for emailing young boys will again bring his sexuality into question. The Republicans will equate the homosexual agenda with pedophilia (although I have to say they've done a pretty good job of avoiding this so far). OK, right winger fundamentalists will do that. If Foley does come out as gay (or a Gay American), he will likely blame the closet for his reprehensible behavior taking a cue from the McGreevy files or the Jim West pages. Democrats will beat like a dead horse the idea that the Republicans knew about Foley's misdeeds for a long time demanding all sorts of resignations (or at least the ones in precarious states that could help them win Congress.)

And ultimately the ones who will be harmed the most are the pages. When they needed a mentor, they got a wolf in sheep's clothing - the only one who would pay attention to them wanted something in return. There has been a call on the House floor to abolish the page program. Because adults, and ironically the director of the Caucus for Missing and Exploited Children, cannot be expected to be reasonable adults the whole program should go. How sad is that. In that NYT article I read, Patrick McGloughlin, a former page who has set up page reunions and alumni communiques, mentioned that his time in DC was so incredibly formative. These are the young people who themselves wish to be lawmakers some day, wish to change our country's history, wish to model themselves after today's legislators.

On second thought, maybe keeping them out of Washington and out of harm's way isn't such a bad idea.